I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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