i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
even my farts smell like vagina
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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