why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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