are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
