the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
