he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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