i don't like sucking hair
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
