he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
