Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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