I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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