my shit smells like andre
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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