holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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