there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
