real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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