Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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