Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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