I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
