i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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