Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
