if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
