Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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