When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
