Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
