Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
