I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
this hospital has no fireball
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
