You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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