i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
