I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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