And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
