Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize