We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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