:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
