I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just pynch a tree in the face
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
