Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
