wrigley field is MILF paradise
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
