Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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