Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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