just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
