She said her name was "party"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
