So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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