I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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