you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
