"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
