My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
