She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
