So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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