I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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