Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
