He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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