the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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