You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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