I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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