I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
