her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
