When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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