I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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