dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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