I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
