i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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