you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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