im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
