I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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