When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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