therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
