SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
