so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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