do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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