I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
