how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
