if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
