I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
