dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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