now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
