what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
